Glamour Girl
I know the tag line for this blog says that Glamour Girl is “ever on a quest for beauty—and a bargain—even in the most unlikely places,” so it might seem contradictory that today’s topic deals with ugliness in its many and varied manifestations. But I’ll always remember something a beloved professor of mine once said about visiting great works of art: to really appreciate the great, you have to look at the lousy once in a while.
It’s in that spirit that I present some of the ugliest, tackiest, most god-awful bits of so-called fashion around.
At the top of the list, not surprisingly, is Louis Vuitton:
I had to do a double- and triple- and quadruple-take, so sure was I that this picture had been Photoshopped, that this monstrosity couldn’t possibly be an actual store in an actual city actually in China. But it is. In Shanghai.
I think it’s fitting that this monument to grotesquerie was built by the monumentally pretentious LV, a brand that has raised conspicuous consumption to new heights, with its initials splashed over every one of its overpriced, mostly-not-even-leather products. “Look at me!” they scream. “I’m made of cotton canvas and still cost a thousand bucks!”
Now before you get all huffy (which you can do in the Comments section), may I present Exhibit B:
That’s a Louis Vuitton dog carrier. Yes, dog carrier. I don’t even know what to say, so I’ll just direct you to the article about it.
Here’s one of their hideous purses that goes for, oh, only $7,250:
Once again, we have those gold-stamped LVs plastered all over this combination of leopard-print fur and some kind of brown substance. Is it leather? Heaven forfend. No, it’s PVC-coated fabric. In other words, plastic. Complete with an acrylic chain and ostentatious gold-tone metal trim. So a plastic monogrammed purse for $7,250. Nice. Is it any wonder people are all in favor of knock-offs?
I have a friend who has often reminded me that his LV wallet (leather, can you believe it?) is so well made that it has lasted for ten years. Hell, I’ve been carrying the same wallet for 19 years, and I just picked it up at some stall at Union Station. If longevity is the hallmark of quality, then it must be just as well made.
Take a look at Bottega Veneta. That’s how you do leather. Their elegant, understated products are the epitome of fine craftsmanship. Bally, Cole Haan, Johnston & Murphy—all do beautiful leathers that last.
Not to be outdone in the Valley of the Hideous, Fendi gives LV a run for its money:
Two versions of the much-vaunted “B” Bag.
I forget what it goes for, but whatever it is, it’s too much.
Then you can take a whirl on the tack-o-rama of Versace:
Can’t you just see Donatella with this thing on her arm? $2,288 if you’re so inclined.
Something called the Paloma by Marc Jacobs (here we go again—he works for LV), a mere $1,875, taints an otherwise beautiful name:
Oh, the horror.
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ADDENDUM November 30th: Looking through dresses at Nordstrom on-line, I gasped in disbelief at this thing, which looks like Aschenputtel meets The Farmer in the Dell, and which was designed by—you guessed it—Marc Jacobs. AND they have the nerve to charge 400 bucks! The mind reels:
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